Live Today!
I started the month of October a bit rough and with a lot o thinking. And also during this month, word about depression had spread rapidly in my country due to some events. Because of these, I thought to myself, "am I also struggling with depression?"
For almost three weeks, I've been having a "roler coster" emotion. Most of the day I would just lay down or look myself in the mirror and think how'd I spent my life for the past twenty five years. I felt like my life is passing by before me, time is running out, and I felt like doors are shutting out. I am alive, but I feel dead on the inside. I felt so alone and lonely, all I see is darknes. I am alive but I feel like I'm dead. It seems like my life has no direction and its going to be that way till I die. Then poof, fear rushed through me and something hit to the core. I don't want to die. I don't want to get old. I want to gi back to how I was before. And it felt crazy because I know it won't happen. I can't escape death, it's inevitable. And I worst than ever to the point that almost lost my faith in God.
I prayed, pleaded, and cried to God every day and asked Him to wash away all my fears, all those unsettling thoughts. But I ended up questioning Him. Why did He gave life to me, to us, when in the end He will take it away. What's more scary is that I don't feel Him anymore, unlike when I was in my teens that in everything I do, I feel Him beside me. During those times that I an battling with myself, I didn't felt Him. Until one day, I decided to go to my room and talk to God and tell Him all my despair and anger. And like a lightning He spoke to me and told me, "why are you so scared and upset of something that I experience myself. I am God, but I had to die for you. Be assured that My words are true, have faith." With that, my fears started to fade, but the lessons in that experience remains.
Life is short but many of us take it for granted. Some are too busy dwelling in the past, and some are too busy preparing and planning for the future. What is done, is done. All we have to do is to move forward. About the future, well it's not bad to prepare for the future, but let us not waste all of our time and effort on something that we don't have a guarantee yet. Who knows what will happen ahead? No one except God. What's important is today. When was the last time we spent time with our family? When was the last time you told them you love them? Let us not think that there would always be tomorrow, because the truth is, we don't know how much of today we still have. Don't take our lives for granted. Live our life today so that we don't have regrets tomorrow. LIVE TODAY.
For almost three weeks, I've been having a "roler coster" emotion. Most of the day I would just lay down or look myself in the mirror and think how'd I spent my life for the past twenty five years. I felt like my life is passing by before me, time is running out, and I felt like doors are shutting out. I am alive, but I feel dead on the inside. I felt so alone and lonely, all I see is darknes. I am alive but I feel like I'm dead. It seems like my life has no direction and its going to be that way till I die. Then poof, fear rushed through me and something hit to the core. I don't want to die. I don't want to get old. I want to gi back to how I was before. And it felt crazy because I know it won't happen. I can't escape death, it's inevitable. And I worst than ever to the point that almost lost my faith in God.
I prayed, pleaded, and cried to God every day and asked Him to wash away all my fears, all those unsettling thoughts. But I ended up questioning Him. Why did He gave life to me, to us, when in the end He will take it away. What's more scary is that I don't feel Him anymore, unlike when I was in my teens that in everything I do, I feel Him beside me. During those times that I an battling with myself, I didn't felt Him. Until one day, I decided to go to my room and talk to God and tell Him all my despair and anger. And like a lightning He spoke to me and told me, "why are you so scared and upset of something that I experience myself. I am God, but I had to die for you. Be assured that My words are true, have faith." With that, my fears started to fade, but the lessons in that experience remains.
Life is short but many of us take it for granted. Some are too busy dwelling in the past, and some are too busy preparing and planning for the future. What is done, is done. All we have to do is to move forward. About the future, well it's not bad to prepare for the future, but let us not waste all of our time and effort on something that we don't have a guarantee yet. Who knows what will happen ahead? No one except God. What's important is today. When was the last time we spent time with our family? When was the last time you told them you love them? Let us not think that there would always be tomorrow, because the truth is, we don't know how much of today we still have. Don't take our lives for granted. Live our life today so that we don't have regrets tomorrow. LIVE TODAY.
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